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If used correctly, heartbreak and failure become the springboards to a better life with increased success. Heartbreak has the power to make you stronger, more powerful and more resilient. It essentially raises your basic level of training. Heartbreak feels debilitating, and for a time it often is, but it is not the end of you.
1. Make peace with hardship.
You will never be more fully introduced to yourself and the places within you which are in need of attention, reinvention and repair then when you are in the eye of the storm. It is normal to feel a temporary, but deep loss of your sense-of-Self in reaction to failure. Hold the mindset that you are designed to be resilient. It is when you are in your deepest suffering that you develop the capacity to hold onto yourself through challenge without acting out in negative, impulsive or destructive ways.
2. Let go of self-recrimination.
In truth, when you reflect back on failure you will see the aspects of yourself which contributed to the problem, and you will also see there were elements which had nothing to do with you or your flaws. When you stop self-abusing you become more able to differentiate between what was you, and what elements of your situation you had no control over. When you see the elements you had no control over your feelings of heartbreak will decrease, allowing you to move forward.
3. Take charge of your life.
You are the only person responsible for yourself, therefore, hold the mindset that you are the one person who can get you back on your feet after failure. When you’re hurting make decisions which serve to get you through the hurt. You cannot remain stagnant and grow. Take time to process and digest, write your feelings out, talk it out with friends, colleagues, coaches or therapists.
4. Focus solely on you.
The failure and heartbreak you are experiencing is yours alone. Adjust your mindset to focus on you, what your path has been, what you can do now, and forecast what you want your future success to look like. Silence all mental chatter based in comparison. Trust that when you focus on yourself you will find the power and resources necessary to fundamentally change your vibe, your trajectory and your overall state of mind. In your failure you learn exactly what you need to do. You discover who and how you need to be to proactively move forward.
5. Time heals.
Whenever you are in heartbreak give yourself space and time. Time is the element of healing we dislike the most because we want heartbreak to move quicker than it does and want it to hurt less than it does.
6. Avoid over analyzing.
If you over analyze your situation it creates deeper feelings of loss which doesn’t allow you to move beyond the pain. Hold the mindset that every heartbreak is a new beginning. Work to let go of recycling the old story or the triggering event. Get to the facts of the failure and use these facts for your benefit. Allow the facts to reset your trajectory.
7. Be flexible.
The lesson in any failure is to let go and remain flexible to the ever changing flow of life. The bigger your ego, the more of a desire you have for control, the more painful and enduring your heartbreak will be. To thrive through hardship choose to adopt a growth mindset. Believe this failure is only one moment in the grand scope of your life; it is not your life’s defining moment unless you allow it to be.
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